Our God 256 times

I cannot stop thanking God.

This month has been a pretty amazing month, albeit experiencing more stress than I ever did since the start of uni life. My spiritual life this year has been rather stagnant, but not plunging, and there were a few spikes here and there but didn't sustain or wasn't impactful. Surprisingly, the life-changing things always happen at the end of the year. Maybe because I'm free from all the obligations of school and am currently in a relaxed state.

My Story:
I was elected as a member of the exco in Voix (my CCA) and I felt that it was a wrong decision. I would say that it was regretful that I signed up for this, but this whole thing taught things. After the first mass meeting, I was shocked at the amount of workload I had to do and the time I had to invest to manage my workload.. The worst part was the fact that Voix would start Saturday practices when term starts and this would potentially clash with my commitments as a cell group leader. I couldn't be irresponsible about my duties after my election, but I think I have to answer to the most important thing - leading cell. It was one of my worst week as I struggled with guilt, as I did not set my priorities straight and did not place God at the center. I felt SO BAD that I couldn't have peace. It was a terror living those days. Furthermore, I was very troubled by my driving (what a lame thing to worry about right) since my TP is around the corner and I'm not performing well. There was no peace, at all.

After what seems like a wrong decision, I decided that God must have something to show me through these 'unfortunate' events. It was triggered when I read one of the prayers that I wrote on my wall a long time ago. It writes -

 'God, help me to rely on your grace in this situation. I know your strength can shine through my weaknesses. So Lord, bring it on. Unleash your power in my life. Please use my pain for Your Glory.'

I thought it was very apt and I felt much better that these are obstacles that will train my perseverance and exhibit God's glory in my life. I know from the book of James that these trials are for the better good. I am willing to trust that my decisions made now, despite a wrong move, will be made right in God. More peace came.

Secondly, youth camp this year was an awesome experience. There were other camps that had better worship, but many 'first times' happened during this camp too. I had my first try in interpreting tongues and it was..... scary. Before anyone was called to interpret Pastor's tongues, I knew it was me. I knew it came from God but I wasn't even confident of myself speaking in tongues correctly, moreover interpreting it. What choice did I have? I still didn't have the faith, and I felt ashamed. I cried, I was guilty. I kept on asking God to use me, but I assume that he would in areas that I'm most comfortable with (cell, worship) but not something that I can't do. Well, the more faith is needed to do something, the more powerful it will be, the more you need to rely on God's grace, the less you rely on yourself.

Besides having a 4 hour worship in the middle of the night, (which I shall not share here because I shared this more than 3 times already), I am truly touched by the teens in church. From their sharing and their experience with God, it affirmed and encouraged me about the value of being a leader, and also how God has His own timing and we don't have to worry about anything. One teen actually shared about how he kept on crying, and he felt ashamed because he wasted 2 years in RYM not knowing and seeking God. That really touched me and I was almost at the verge of tears when he shared that. I used to look at that teen, thinking to myself that they'll never grow up. God has His timings. Was especially touched when he kept saying "I want to keep the fire burning!". This is good, despite that it's possibly temporal. LIFE-CHANGING LA

This month has been too awesome and after the lessons learnt, I have decided to place God in the center (and I know what it means to do that now!), putting church as my CCA, and spending my time to know God, to bring people to God. I'm sure to my friends outside church, I may sound a bit extreme or too 'holy' but I cannot deny how much power God has put into my life and how much He has changed it. My thoughts are very disorganized here because there's just so much things going on, but I proclaim that it hasn't ended!


上帝的作为一旦开始，谁也无能阻止。