It's too hard

求你給我一顆謙卑的心

給我一個受教的靈

好讓我能走在你的旨意裡

如同耶穌的生命



幫助我更多的禱告

幫助我更深的倚靠

單單相信你

深深敬畏你

一生要跟隨你

I'm glad my Tuesday nights are free and Wednesday is my free day. I'll continue to do that!

Going for Sunday service is definitely not enough. No wonder Christians in Korea go to church every day. If I could, I would.

I went into some sort of slump recently, probably due to the influx of school work and CCA. It was really tiring and I didn't have any chance to lead worship, and I sometimes attend youth service late. I spent a lot of time with friends from school and it's kept secular which limits the chance of talking about God. (I always believe to stay on God's track you have to constantly renew yourself with His word). I just got about doing my own things and obsessed with completing them and it felt like a rat race. I totally forgot about God's purpose for me.

But I thank God. I thank God for reminders and warnings. I thank God for friends who encouraged me even though I don't treat them as well as they do. I thank God for Christian friends in school whom I could readily share about my struggles and knowing they'll support me in prayer.

The song I posted right at the front was the song that spoke to me during prayer meeting tonight. I felt sooooooooo sad and frustrated at how hard it was to follow God. It's so easy to follow the world and succumb to temptations. It's sooooooooo hard to stay close to God. I really, really want to stay close. I couldn't hold back my sorrow and started to cry real bad. I can't do this alone man, I really need God's help so that I may honor God, and give God the glory. I just find it so damn hard to sustain the spiritual intimacy with God. :(

I hope the song will be a prayer of my life, and for the next week at least. Well, I'm just glad God pulled me back in again and it's amazing how transformation can take place within days! God is real.

P.S. I'm so happy that my testimony blessed someone! It's really amazing how God has His own time in revealing stuff in each of our lives (: I hope that friend will become a godly woman and make decisions in honor of God!