In short, it was mainly about acting out as a Christian. The takeaway for me was not to be a "NATO" (No Action Talk Only) Christian, which is very commonly preached. However, the pastor took on a different approach, or at least if felt different to me.
After 2012 where the storm and the sea the shells has already passed, I start to feel a little dull in my spiritual life. There was nothing to look forward to, or nothing in danger to change. It was a calm day at the beach. I'm constantly reading His word, but I wonder if I truly, sincerely, eagerly wanting to, or it was just out of obligation. Today, thank God, the sermon put me back on track. The pastor was identifying groups of people, and I fell into the category of "Christian for a long time but not actively obeying His commands because we choose the easy things to do." Long list of descriptions. Then, he added, that by loving God more, we would me more willing to obey His commands ACTIVELY. (Chinese expresses better, 积极). I never really thought of that, but it's true. But you know, I'm quite a NATO and lazy person, so the word ACTIVE does not describe me at all. I love doing easy things, sometimes, I choose the easy way out.
Nonetheless, I was touched during prayer when the pastor said, "Don't give up." This is exactly what I need! When I try so hard to connect back to God, my mind always drifts off since the other side looks more interesting. I'm soooooo guilty of this but it's soooooo hard to change. I really wanted to give up at some point, but today refreshed me! I'm so glad.
(Okay my thought process is breaking down soon so pardon the sentence flow)
Anyway, I attended my granduncle's funeral today. Can I tell you how much I dislike attending funerals? It's so solemn and depressing, you have to think twice before you smile. However, as a Christian, we understand that death is just a process, and death would also mean eternal life when Jesus comes again! How exciting! Of course, it is natural of us to mourn, just as apostle Paul said, but I really can't stand the depressing mood all over. It does not help when my granduncle's immediate family are non-believers (my granduncle is, a very cool one I think), and there were a lot of crying during the wake.
I've heard testimonies about him, and I am indeed touched by his perseverance in his faith. During the cremation, the thought of him not being able to meet his family in heaven struck me so hard, I started to tear. It suddenly dawned upon me that I carry the responsibility of sharing the gospel to my fellow Yongs. I am very sure my granduncle would love and hope for his children, grandchildren, to enjoy the sweetness of God's love, to meet them once again up there. Who wouldn't want the best for their child? I think this is the only thing I could have done for him, to repay his kindness showered on my dad after my grandfather passed on.. To be honest, I'm as scared and unwilling as hell. But hell is not a nice place to go. I really need God's strength to help complete this "mission" He has placed me in. It's not gonna be easy, it's not something in my comfort zone, but I MUST try.
Other than that, I'm also troubled by my university admissions. Having excellent results offers another set of good problems- What to choose. It's my choice and because I'll probably gain admission to any course I apply. Not boasting!
No comments:
Post a Comment