Inferiority complex

From young, I have known that my family is not well to do, probably because my dad scrimps and saves on almost ANYTHING you can think of. As a result, my spending habits tend to be more restrained. I'm only pampered by my uncle and aunt (a blessing) in terms of monetary especially, up till the point when they had kids.

As I grew older, as my family becomes a little more affluent, we were able to spend more things on wants than just needs alone. However, the mindset behind my spending never changed. I find it expensive when I can buy something at a lower price fulfilling the same need. My budget for meals are really low and I find it painful even to spend an extra 50 cents on a packet of drink at the canteen when I can just stick with water.

My family dinners are usually eaten at home, or at hawker centres. Occasionally, my dad would bring us out to shopping malls that we don't frequent, but our food choice would always be the food courts. I remember being rather angry and upset for travelling so far just to have food court food, might as well eat from the coffee shop downstairs. I rarely visit restaurants, unless it is an important date, eg, birthdays and these restaurants cater much more to the lower-middle income consumers. Of course, I don't deny the fact that he brought us to very nice restaurants too.

Upon entering JC, I've met friends whose families spoil themselves on food, and they seem to be very street smart in this aspect. They know where all the good food are, and these "good food" has very nice prices too. Restaurants that I've never heard before became frequently mentioned and honestly, sometimes it's peer pressure that made me step inside. Price is a concern to me, as it can get quite taxing after a meal or two in these places. I also felt inferior as I was "ignorant" and I think my friends are quite sian when I tell them I have a certain budget and do not wish to eat in this and this place.. Furthermore, I don't want to be a spoilsport and demand to eat somewhere else cheaper. Another pressure I face is commenting on the taste of the food. I'm always quite careful to judge on whether a dish is nice because my tastebuds are kinda of a low standard. Honestly speaking, I'm more of a "eat to live" person than "live to eat", but I guess some of my friends are more of the latter.

Having said that, I still thank my friends for bringing me to many places, tasting different food and experiencing a different lifestyle. Although I feel pressurized at times, the above experienced describe is just 1/50 times we meet together. The other 49 units are just filled with joy. I do agree I still feel inferior in many aspects such as travel experience, closet size, curfew time, but I think it's all because of the tendency for humans to compare. To hell with comparison. I'm sure I have qualities my friends are jealous of (yeah? tell me it's more than just academics). To each its own.